It’s Not My Fault….

The seemingly small and insignificant lesson.

There are so many life lessons. Ones that bypass us every day without us even realizing it.

These lessons may seem small and insignificant, but when these lessons are magnified to larger scales, they are super impactful lessons that could change the way we live our lives.

Example: Last week, I was leaving NYC for Boston. I booked the bus for 10 am to leave myself more than enough time to get from deep Brooklyn into the city.

I leave my apartment at 8 am and feel great that I am so on top of the game and early. End of the story, I miss my bus……

As I stand there watching the bus pull away, I wonder how this happened. I was one minute early to our departure, and the driver was already out of the gate and ready to drive away. As I approach the bus window, I ask to be let in. I’m greeted with a nice shake of the head and a finger to go back inside.

As I walk back to the station with a slight worry that I’ll miss my flight to LA in Boston, utter disbelief and mild anger, immediately all I can think about is that jerk driver. This driver not only left the station 1 minute early, but he didn’t even let me in when he had just put the bus into reverse and started leaving the gate.

But, as the endorphins started to disappear and I started to slowly drag my sweaty self, along with 50 lbs of luggage on my back, up the 3 flights of stairs, I realized what caused me to miss that bus. ME.

And I’m sure many of you are reading this and thinking to yourself, “UH DUH, CHRIS, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SHOWED UP ONE MINUTE BEFORE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE,” and you’d be right for thinking that. But a question I have for you, “Where is your life? Have you blamed others for the consequences of your own doing?”

As I look back at my bus situation, I realize where I messed up.

• I was casually walking to the bus station as if time were no problem (+6 mins)

• Stopping off to buy a sandwich (+11 mins)

• I stopped off to get a free cup of water at Starbuck (+5 mins)

• I walked in the wrong direction out of Starbucks instead of going two blocks towards the station. I walked two blocks in the opposite direction *nice one, Chris* (+9 mins)

• As I entered the station, I realized my ticket didn’t have the bus gate number. Normally this would be fine, but when you are at Port Authority Station with over 250 bus gates, that could be a problem (+10 mins)

Now, as I add all this up, this meant that through my own doing, I caused myself to lose 41 minutes on the way to my bus station.

Now, as I look back, I can pull a couple of lessons from this:

• Maybe try to be a bit earlier

• Try to not be so slow and relaxed in transit

• Be more prepared with my gate number

The main lesson that I am taking away from this experience isn’t any of these previously listed lessons. It isn’t about anything I did that made me miss my bus. Instead, it is about the mindset that I had in the 5 mins that followed me missing the bus.

As I said before, some lessons may seem small and insignificant, but when these lessons are magnified to larger scales, they are super impactful lessons that could change the way we live our lives.

The lesson I took away: We cannot blame other people for the consequences of our actions.

It is nobody else’s fault but mine that I missed my bus this morning. So as I take this lesson, I will apply this to other areas of my life. Looking at places where I originally believed that I was the one who was the victim of somebody else’s mistakes and now realizing it was my fault for the outcome. When you break it down, most things in life are the consequences of your actions, and yes, of course, there are exceptions, but the overwhelming majority are things you caused.

So as I take this lesson with me, I also challenge you to take this lesson and implement it into your life. What are some situations where you felt someone else’s actions short-changed you? Are you the one to blame for these consequences?

When we take accountability for the consequences of our actions, life becomes a lot better because we now have control of our life. We realize that we are the ones who are responsible for the outcomes in our life. Therefore, we can choose what we want our life to be like. We can create the lives of our dreams and make our wildest dreams become a reality.

*Originally published on October 29, 2020